Let’s be honest. Kids can hold you back. Before kids I could go to the grocery store and it would take like 10 minutes. Now, it takes forever and I am constantly saying, “Don’t touch that. No you can’t have that. Get off the cart. Stop climbing that display!” (Yes, I caught Eliya once climbing the tile display at Home Depot when she was a toddler).
What was once a spontaneous dinner date night now takes at least a week to plan.
Packing for overnight outings used to take up 1 or 2 bags. Now I feel like I am bringing the whole house.
The examples could go on for ever. . .sometimes kids hold you back.
But I want to break that notion right out of the box. You can have great adventures as a family, and those adventures can change your kids’ lives.
I can obviously speak from our experience of going to Uganda as a family. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. It was our passion to be able to go on a missions trip as a family. We wanted to be able to share that experience together. I could go on and on about how that changed our lives and the lives of our children, but I think I have already shared that enough. But, we aren’t alone. The other day a friend of mine shared with me that it was a trip that she took with her family when she was 7 that opened up her eyes to the world. It was that international trip that planted the seed in her heart to grow into a desire to minister to those over seas. That trip revealed to her that the world is a big place with a lot of needs and that she had a role in filling those needs. Now she serves in Uganda full time with her family. Her parents took her along on a trip and now she is out changing the world, one person at a time, and she is sharing that with her family.
We met Natalie in Brussels and she was traveling to rejoin her family in Gulu where they run an orphanage. She has 3 children all under 7. They are serving kids without a family as a family.
My encouragement would be that if you are feeling led to serve the great wide world and share God’s love but feel held back by having a family, please don’t! Don’t feel like you have to wait for the kids to grow up. Don’t go alone. Take them along. Share God’s love as a family. I can tell you that we were much more of a blessing to the people of Suubi Village because we were a family. Our kids probably blessed the people there more just by their presence than all of the actual work that my husband and I did. Our kids also came back with a different perspective on life also. You don’t have to travel across the globe either. My husband has taken our son a couple of times to pack food with Feed My Starving Children. He was able to see that he was making a difference even by doing something relatively small. We also teach our kids about ways that they can help others in their own classrooms and neighborhoods. Our son’s teachers remark about how patient he is and how great he is with kids who are otherwise difficult to get along with. He helps with classmates and is friends with everyone. He is making a difference. Our daughter is friends with a boy in her class who gets in trouble a lot. He is very nice to her and gave her a big hug when she came home from Uganda. She has made a difference in his life because she has compassion. Don’t underestimate your kids.
Look mom, the bottoms of our feet are the same color!
Eliya looking at Elia’s pigs.
On the flip side, not only do we feel like kids hold us back, but we often hold our kids back. My desire for my children used to be that they would be the smartest, most popular, most successful kids. That someday they would be doctors or lawyers etc. But as I have grown as a parent and as a Christian, I can see now that my biggest desire for my children is that they realize their potential in God’s eyes. I pray that they would be able to find the gifts that He has bestowed upon them and then use those gifts for His glory. I pray that they would desire what God desires for their lives. I pray that God gets a hold of them now when they are young and uses them for mighty works. I pray that my children will fulfill God’s purpose for their lives. I pray that they become world changers. And I pray that I don’t hold them back. I need to live with an “open hand” mentality, not a closed fist. I need to say to God, “These kids are yours, I desire Your will for their lives, even if that isn’t easy for me.” I need to let go and see where God takes them. Sometimes that is scary, but most of the time it is very exciting.
I leave you with the famous Proverbs 22:6, “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it”
Or in my words. . .
